I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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