Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
