it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
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Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So was this before or after he cried about trump?