508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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