I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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