Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have fence marks all over my body
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
