I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sorry about my life...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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