was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You are a genius and a whore.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize