do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
