it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
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Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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