Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
