Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
