Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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