Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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