she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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