Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
