dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
