and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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