Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize