This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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