I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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