just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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