my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
