Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
