I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
