maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
