my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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