the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
