; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
