it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
