I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
