My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
