just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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