Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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