He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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