We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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