I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
