hotel room ftw
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
