she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
