The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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