Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
