Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
