I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize