Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
