So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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