you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
