google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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