Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
