....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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