ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
