Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
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Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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