At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just want to make out with him forever
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