You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
