theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
