I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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