Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
