we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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